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Each month Cleos on Nile gives away complimentary room hire to one lucky person! You need to be in it to win it, as the saying goes, so just submit your email address here and each month our computer system randomly draws a winner. The winner will be notified by email and the prize can be redeemed at any time within 3 months from notification. Good luck! Oh, and feel free to re-enter every month.

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Don’t try this at home: things women wish men would stop doing when it comes to sex

Things women wish men would stop doing

We know better than anyone that a versatile, diverse bedroom is a good bedroom, but there are some things women wish men would just stop doing. So while we’re all for getting down and dirty in new and exciting ways, here are a few things you should probably consider dropping from your repertoire:

Sex standing up

We’ve all tried this, and all found it equally uncomfortable. This only really works if your heights line up perfectly and your legs have the strength to go the distance. It’s more than likely you’ll be spending your time readjusting, re-thrusting, slipping in and out and generally making a mess of things.

Copying things you’ve seen in porn

This one can sometimes work, but should come with a prior warning. No woman likes to be surprised with a position that takes 6 months of yoga to perfect, or to be treated to something that really doesn’t appeal to a female audience. If you’re going to go down this road, check first.

The ‘pinning against the wall’ move

This is another one that only usually works in a small percentage of situations – namely those that feature a pretty strong male and a relatively light female. Even if you get going in this position at first, it will be very difficult to maintain, and the resulting struggle will definitely leave your lady feeling more than a little self-conscious.

Going overboard on spanking

Spanking fetishes are actually fairly common, but that doesn’t mean you should go full pelt on your first try! If you haven’t talked about or experimented with spanking before, start off with something pretty light, and depending on the reaction you receive gradually increase the intensity (if that’s what you’re into).

Impractical sex tips

If you’ve ever read a sex tip online or in a magazine and thought, “that sounds genuinely ridiculous”, it probably is. Play it safe when it comes to really out-there sex tips – you might just be saving yourself a huge amount of embarrassment.

Too much missionary

While pretty vanilla, missionary is actually a great position. It’s not too challenging, is pleasurable and doesn’t take much practice to pull off. The trouble starts when missionary is the only thing you’re doing. Make sure you change things up every now and then to avoid boring your partner more than you’re wowing her.

 Aiming for the face…

This should go without saying: if she hasn’t specifically indicated she doesn’t mind or likes it on her face, don’t put it on her face.

All around not listening

This is probably the biggest pet peeve women have when it comes to their sex lives. If you’re not paying attention to what she actually wants and likes, you can guarantee that’s something she wants you to start doing. Don’t assume you automatically know what she wants. Take the time to ask and learn and you’ll both be in for a much sexier time.

Of course, if you feel like doing pretty much whatever you like during sex, why not make the experience all about you? Drop by Cleos On Nile, the best brothel in Brisbane, for a professional experience you’ll never forget. Our ladies are up for almost anything, so let them show you what real pleasure is.